Broken Glass
by malicious pixie
Summary: Sidestory to 'No Use Crying Over Spilled Tea'. Renocentric
1. Chapter 1

Side story to my other FFVII fic, 'No Use Crying Over Spilled Tea'. Reno-centric.

Enjoy

**Broken Glass: Chap 1**

"We are NOT going." Rude was adamant. "The 7th Heaven is not the only place to get a drink in Midgar."

"But it's the BEST place!" Reno countered, trying a pout on for size. As usual, it had no effect on his bald partner. Rude didn't even bother looking him.

"Alcohol is alcohol wherever you go, Reno."

"But what about the service?"

"What about it? You just want to ogle the Lockhart girl, say something stupid and embarrass me."

Reno stuffed his hands in his blazer pockets and huffed. "You make me sound like an idiotic pervert."

"Aren't you?" An eyebrow rose above the rim of Rude's sunglasses and the corner of his mouth quirked as Reno stuck his tongue out at him. "Idiotic, childish pervert," he amended Reno's assessment.

"Just one drink, Partner. C'mon. Be a pal." Reno was whining. Rude hated it when he whined. And he was well aware that one drink would not be the end of it, but in the end he conceded to his partner's wish. He'd survived Reno as a drinking buddy countless times before, and he could do it again.

"Try not to talk so much. You might not sound so stupid. And you just might have a shot with Lockhart."

"Really?" Reno asked hopefully. "You think?"

"No."

* * *

Reno nearly skipped to Tifa's bar after Rude had told him they could go there to have a drink. It was the absolute perfect end to his day. The only thing that helped him get through all the boring paperwork he had piled up on his desk since there wasn't much activity going on to keep the Turks busy and out in the field—not that the pile decreased very much in the day, but still.

The thought of Tifa kept him giddy all day. So giddy that Reno couldn't bring himself to hold the door for his partner when they arrived at the 7th Heaven. Once he'd stepped a foot inside, he quickly rushed over to his usual stool and drummed on the bar top, looking around for the buxom barmaid of his dreams. He spotted Tifa at the other end of the bar, taking the order of another customer. He was about to whistle her over when a mitt clamped over his mouth.

"Don't embarrass me." Rude whispered and removed his hand. Reno gagged and wiped his face on his sleeve.

"Damn. I hope you washed that thing."

Rude grunted and lowered his glasses on his nose to see in the dim light. "Remember what I said."

"Yeah yeah…" Reno's attention quickly went back to the dark-haired fighter as she took notice of them and walked down the bar to greet them with a smile.

"Hey guys. The usual?"

Reno grinned, glanced at her chest and winked. "Make mine a double."

Tifa's smile faltered and she glanced at Rude. Something passed between them that Reno didn't get. But once she'd turned her back to pour them their drinks, the redhead got a whopping slap upside the head.

"Idiot." Rude hissed.

Reno scowled and rubbed the back of his head, about to ask what the hell that was for when Tifa turned back around with their drinks. She didn't look at either Turk as she set them down and walked away; letting them know that she'd be around if they needed anything else.

Reno sighed heavily as he watched her go. "Be honest with me, Partner. I'm hopeless, right?"

"Pretty much."

"…you weren't supposed to agree with me," Reno muttered miserably into his drink as he brought it to his lips.

"You told me to be honest."

"Well next time when I ask you to be honest, lie to me."

"You got it, Partner."

"…so you really don't think I have a shot with her, huh?"

"Nope."

"None?"

"None."

"But what if—"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"Damn." Reno sighed again, watching Tifa forlornly as she walked around the bar. There was silence between them until Rude asked him a question which he thought had an obvious answer.

"Why do you like her so much, Reno?"

The redheaded Turk looked over at his partner, shocked. "Are you seriously asking that question?"

Rude frowned. "What do you think of her when you look at her from the neck up?"

Reno scratched his head. Had he ever done that before? "Um…well…she has…nice eyes?"

"Really? What colour are her eyes?"

"Um…they're...they're…green?"

"You're pathetic. And wrong."

"Well what? I don't know what colour YOUR eyes are either."

"You're not trying to court me. And besides, I wear sunglasses all the time. She doesn't."

Rude also didn't have a large chest to distract him from his face, Reno thought. "…her eyes are blue?"

"Brown."

"Dammit. I knew I should have gone with brown."

The bald Turk heaved an exasperated sigh and shook his head. "This right here is a very good reason why you have no shot with Lockhart. You don't respect her."

"But I do!"

"Worshipping her chest is not respecting her, Partner."

"Well no shit," Reno said incredulously. "I know that."

"Do you?"

"…well I realize it after I make an ass of myself."

"Then here's some advice. Stop ordering drinks from her chest because you're scaring her away."

"…right."

"Keep your eyes on her face."

"Right."

"Learn something about her."

"Huh?" Reno glanced at his partner. "What do you mean? I know about her." Rude invited him to elaborate with a raised eyebrow. "I…um…I know Tifa can kick my ass! …and…and I know who her friends are!"

Even Reno knew that it sounded pathetic. Apparently he knew jack-all about the girl of his dreams. But that didn't mean he couldn't find out!

"That's it!" Reno jumped up from his stool, knocking over his drink. "I've got it!" He would investigate Tifa! It was a brilliant plan. And with that he rushed out the door, leaving a stunned Rude sitting at the bar.

* * *

Tifa walked over to the bald Turk, frowning as she wiped up the mess Reno had made.

"What's wrong with Reno?" she asked hesitantly.

"Mid-life crisis." Rude mumbled, downing the rest of his drink.

"What?" Tifa blinked, "But he's too young for that."

Rude shrugged. "Reno's impatient. He decided to start early."

After dropping some gil on the bar, Rude apologized for his partner and nodded his head in a bid goodnight before heading out of the bar. He deeply dreaded what plans Reno was no doubt cooking up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Broken Glass:** Chap 2

Rude just had a feeling that he would regret going into work that morning and it took less than 3 milliseconds for his fears to be realized when he walked into the office he shared with Reno and already saw his partner there…Working.

Work, apart from it being an actual four letter word, was to Reno, the equivalent of a curse word. Taboo. A word never uttered on or off duty, or anywhere in the redhead's general vicinity. The fact that Reno was pouring through paperwork now scared the bald Turk and he could already feel a headache coming on. This was going to be one hell of a long day.

"Reno," Rude greeted his partner as he walked around to his desk. Reno gave him a quick salute and then did something that further frightened the bald man…he stayed silent. Quiet was another word that didn't quite compute with his partner, so the fact that Reno wasn't talking made Rude want to turn right back around and help himself to one of those sick days that he'd been saving up for a rainy day…or something akin to the signalization of the apocalypse, which is what Rude figured this had to be. A sign of impending doom.

In his top drawer, Rude helped himself to what he liked to think of as his 'sanity pills'. Little white tablets that made sure his brain didn't bust through the back of his head as it tried to get away from his partner's relentless nattering. It didn't hurt to be prepared after all. The bald Turk felt like he was sitting in the eye of the storm. The silence wouldn't last for long.

"Born May 3…Blood type B…5'5''…"

Rude groaned as Reno finally opened his yap. "What are you talking about, Partner?" he asked, knowing full well that he'd regret the question.

"Tifa's stats." Reno looked up at his partner and waggled a sheet of paper in the air. "I've been doing research."

"Wonderful. You've dug around and come up with pointless stats. What exactly do you intend to do with them? Try to impress her by knowing her height and blood type? If that's the case, then I'm going to warn you now. Women don't want their weight to be common knowledge. So if you've found that out in your 'research', then I suggest you keep it to yourself."

Reno, instead of getting offended, grinned at Rude. "I'll write that down. Thanks Partner."

Rude shook his head and removed his glasses to rub his eyes. "How long have you been here doing research exactly?"

"Uh…" Reno glanced at his watch, "Since all night? I came here after I ran out of Tifa's."

"All night? And have you gotten anything more than Lockhart's basic stats?"

Reno snorted. "Cut me some slack, yo. This information's hard to find."

"You're right," Rude admitted snidely, "It's not as if the Turks have a whole filing cabinet full of information on Avalanche and its members. And I know how difficult it is for you to open a file folder and read."

The redhead scowled and slapped his notes back onto his desk. "You got a hangover or what, yo? Don't gotta be a jerk. I DID get more than Tifa's basics." Reno suddenly held up more papers. "I got her friends' basics too!"

Rude looked deadpan, completely unimpressed by the fruits of Reno's labour. "How are Lockhart's friends' stats going to help you woo her?"

Reno shrugged. "Haven't figured that part out yet, but they may come in handy. Have a little faith in me, Partner."

"Oh I do, Reno. I have _very_ little faith in you," Rude answered off-handedly as he started in on his own pile of work; actual work that needed to be done. He only managed to get through a handful of sheets before the redhead's stare got the better of him. He glanced over at Reno in all his pouting glory. "What?"

"You're being mean, yo. What happened to supporting your partner?"

The bald Turk sighed and set his pen down. "You're not going about this the right way, Reno. Your research isn't going to get you anywhere. You need a new source."

"…like what?"

"More like WHO. Lockhart's friends. You should ask them about her since they'd have a lot more info on her than any of those fi…les." Rude ended his sentence quietly, wishing he'd never even begun it as he saw the sudden gleam in the redhead's eyes. What had he just gotten himself into?

"You're a GENIUS, yo!" Reno cried out, hopping up from his seat. "I'll ask her friends!" He then ran around his desk and out the office door. Rude almost thought he'd be left out of the inevitable chaos until the redhead circled back around and hovered anxiously in the doorway. "Hurry up! We got A LOT to do!"

Rude shook his head. _They_ didn't have a lot to do. _He_ did, since Reno refused to do any paperwork—another of the dreaded four letter word. "We can't work on personal projects during office hours. Sit down."

"But I don't want to sit around here aaall day," Reno whined, though obediently returned to his seat and slumped heavily in his chair.

"You normally do," Rude pointed out, picking up his pen again.

"Yeah, but normally I don't got business to take care of," his partner replied, the pout returning in full force.

"Then why don't you plan ahead and write down some questions you want to ask?"

"Great idea, yo!" Reno exclaimed, going straight to work. He scribbled furiously for all of two minutes before he tore off the sheet of paper from his notepad and sat back, looking victorious.

The bald Turk warily glanced over at him. "You can't be done…"

Reno grinned. "I am. Wanna see?"

"…not overly. But read me out a few questions anyway."

"No prob." The redhead picked up the sheet of paper and cleared his throat before beginning to read off the list of question. "One. What is Tifa's cup size? Two. Does Tifa own any skimpy dresses. Three—"

"Stop right there," Rude interrupted him, holding up a hand. "What the hell is that? Do you need to advertise to everyone that you're a pervert? How are those questions going to win Lockhart over?"

"…" Reno hesitated. "I thought I was just supposed to write down questions that I want answered…"

Rude removed his glasses to better give Reno his bewildered, 'what kind of idiot are you?' stare, then slipped them back on and shook his head, letting out an exasperated sigh. "You are completely hopeless, Partner. Com. Plete. Ly." He gave that statement a few seconds to sink in before continuing. "Tell you what? And you better right this down, Reno" Rude said, pointing to the sheet of questions. "Just remember one simple question. What are Tifa's likes and disli—"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down, yo. I gotta write this down," Reno picked up his pencil and wrote, "What…are…Tifa's…"

"Likes and dislikes. Yes." Rude finished impatiently.

"Likes…and…dis…likes?"

"Yes. Dislikes. What are Tifa's likes and dislikes. Just remember that," the bald Turk repeated the question for what he hoped was the final time.

Reno grinned as he finished and folded the piece of paper before stuffing it into his pants pocket. "Thanks, Man."

"Don't mention it," Rude mumbled and got back to work. Again he only made it through a handful of papers before Reno started drumming on the top of his desk and Rude then decided that the paperwork could sit for another day. He dropped his pen and stood up, walking around his desk to the door.

"Let's go, Partner."

Reno bounced up from his chair in excitement, not even second-guessing the command. "We going where I think we're going?"

To hell? Rude thought. "Yes Reno. We're going to find out some information on the girl of your dreams."

Reno punched the air and gave a loud 'whoop'. "You're the best, Man! You know that?"

"I know," Rude grumbled as he walked out to face certain doom. "I know…"


End file.
